The Midnight Snack – Monday

Author by professormaddog31Posted in Baseball, the midnight snack

There’s an old country song called “Older Women Are Beautiful Lovers.” Well, I don’t know about that, I think an interested lover is probably the best kind to have. But I do know that older pitchers are magnificent wonders. Let’s talk about a few.

Mission San Chris Capuano:  I know, I know, Chris Capuano hasn’t been relevant in years. Not since that time he and Ben Sheets were actually really good for the Brewers (back when Mike Maddux was the pitching coach in Milwaukee. /Prof sheds a tear/).  But guess who’s back, back again? Cap is back, tell your friends. Chris Capuano has signed a minor league contract to bring it back to that glorious time of that one magical eighteen win season way back in the olden days.

I was talking to our friends Kevin S. and COPO about Chris Bat Guano today and wondered why he gets so many chances to stick around when Mark Prior was run out of town forever ago, and they reminded me that Capuano is a lefty.

Damn it.

Anyway, I hope that Cap gets called up to the bigs again because it would be fun to see Craig Counsell, his old teammate, be his manager. It’s like when your dad marries the hot chick who graduated the year ahead of you that you had a crush on, and now she’s your mom. Awkward…

Arroyo, Oh Boy-o: Bronson Arroyo, fresh off an injury season, is a free agent. He has interest from four different teams, including the Nationals and the Reds. The Nats are offering a minor league contract, while the Reds are only drawing a lot of “interest”.

Arroyo is 39 years old and hasn’t pitched since July 2014. While the Nationals’ contract is only minor league, he does have a lot of experience and up until ’14 has been a relatively durable pitcher. He has history with new Nats manager Dusty Baker, which gives him an advantage.

The Reds might not offer a major league contract either, but Arroyo’s best seasons were spent in a Reds uniform, and his girlfriend also lives in Cincinnati. I’m sure that’s a selling point for him – who wouldn’t want to live and work near their boo if given the chance?

See Ya, Pete:  My boy Peter Moylan signed a minor league contract with the Royals. He had previously returned to the Braves for a minor league stint as a player/coach while rehabbing after his second Tommy John surgery.

The cool thing is that if he gets called up to the Show, he’ll be reunited with his buddy and another former Braves pitcher, Kris Medlen.

Forgive me as I cry a little.

25 thoughts on “The Midnight Snack – Monday”

    1. Why even adjust the height if you’re still going to have umps call strikes arbitrarily anyway? I would like a shortened season though, but the money is going to impossible to make back.

      Thanks for the link.

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      1. Agreed.

        The actual zone is fine…just get umps to actually call it. The bigger issue is that pitches 6″ outside to lefties and 4″ outside to righties are regularly called strikes. The plate is 17″ across, which is how wide the zone should be (realizing that if any part of the ball crosses the plate it is a strike)….instead, a standard called zone is about 23″ wide for lefties and 21″ wide for righties…and those outside pitches being called strikes have a far bigger influence on offense (because they really can’t be hit with authority) than balls a little below the knees that are over the plate, which can still be crushed.

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  2. That writer of that song knew. If a boy told me he had once dated an older woman, my interest was piqued. He’d been schooled.

    What the hell are we talking about? Baseball? Yes. Baseball. The prized left handed pitcher. Cap.

    Is it wrong of me that I am encouraging my young son to use his left hand? He does have the build of a little catcher though, and he’s smart and bossy, but I am not wont to urge him to put on the tools of ignorance in the Florida heat.

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    1. There is, essentially, no such thing as a left handed catcher. I’m not sure that encouraging use of one hand will have much effect if it doesn’t come natural to him….and being a lefty is really only a good thing for pitchers…there are no lefty catchers, shortstops, second basemen, or third baseman….do you think he’ll be 6’2″ plus so he can pitch?

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      1. It’s a possibility he might be tall. Although I am vertically challenged, he is not and there are very tall genetics in the family. My paternal uncle is 6’4″, his paternal aunt is 5’10”, and his paternal grandfather is over 6 feet tall. He is already well more than half my height and he’s 4 next week. I know lefty catchers are pretty useless, although a switch-hitting catcher might be good.

        You can train yourself to use either hand. Stories abound of poor left handers forced to use their right hands by idiots who thought the left hand marked by Satan (the root for the word “sinister” is left). Many athletes have trained themselves to become ambidextrous. I was kidding about changing his handedness–I did hand stuff to him in his left hand to see if he had any inclination for his left hand, but so far, he’s a righty all the way. Catcher it is. His grandfather was supposedly pretty good at that position back in his high school days. (And his grandfather is ambidextrous.)

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        1. By all means, Indy. The catcher needs to be the smartest and toughest guy on the field. And, at the same time, the guy who gives the pitching staff the TLC needed to make them succeed. Any woman should be proud to be the mother of a catcher.

          I was proud when my grandson became an Eagle Scout and a French Horn player. Now, if he had only been a catcher my pride would have known no bounds.

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    2. Um, I mean. It really depends on the woman. Some people go through life without seeming to ever….um…develop skills.

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      1. Yes, lions. I can’t speak for everyone. I am speaking from personal experience. Usually, an older woman isn’t going to waste her time on a younger man if she can’t or won’t train him. The appeal is his malleability. Whether she has the skills to teach, that’s another question.

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        1. Well, malleability and stamina. From my experience, the main thing older women appreciate is that multiple lessons can be taught each night. You just have to wait 5-10 minutes to try something.

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        2. Stamina does have its appeal, but lots of things have stamina. An eagerness to learn, which the young seem to possess, is much more appealing.

          Bless her, whoever she was.

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    2. Don’t do that, Slappy. I have been fighting the urge all morning to put in a “witty” reply that would catch me no end of grief from the group.

      Throwing temptation my way. Shame.

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  4. Imagine how much Dusty Baker would love to block Joe Ross with Bronson Arroyo. That’s if Dusty has bothered to learn who Joe Ross is yet.

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    1. Wow. I would have assumed that Trump was too enlightened and too much into diversity for Rocker. I see a Robert Mugabe or Kim Jong Un as more his type of leader.

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    2. Because of Fucking course! Bad Jon Rocker is still bad 17 years later. His vapid opinion posing as research tells him his tirade against..everything and everyone, is justified all these years later.

      Fuck that guy with a 49 oz Louisville Slugger wrapped in rusty razor blades wrapped in barbed wire wrapped in broken Brandy bottles coated with arsenic and gerbil spit with a healthy dose of flesh eating disease all lovingly encompassed in the A train that he hates right up his Neanderthal ass.

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